say no




You may have heard it said, "Sometimes saying 'no' to someone else says 'yes' to yourself.But for many of us, "no no" is difficult.Yet, it is a major key to assertiveness.If you do not know how you do not want to, then you will find in this article simple ways to unlock and assert yourself more effectively

I) Why is it so important to know haw to say no? 
5 Good reasons to say (No)
1) When we always respond favorably to the needs and demands of everyone, we neglect and forget what is important for us and, eventually, we risk exhaustion. 
Moreover, in work, it is the inability to say "no" that leads to "burn-out" (burnout).
  • Knowing how to say no to others is a way of saying "yes" to oneself, of getting closer to one's
"When you say yes to others, make sure you do not say no to yourself." paulo Coelho

2) When we want to please everyone, all the time, we do not take confidence in ourselves.
  • Assert yourself and dare to say no builds self-confidence.

3) By not expressing our own needs, desires and desires, we do not act in accordance with ourselves and we lose our personal value.
  • That's why saying no helps to increase our self-esteem.

4) Those who do not clearly set their limits to toxic people get stuck on their feet, let themselves feel guilty, abuse and manipulate ...
  • Being able to say no is a way of protecting oneself and not being dragged into the trap of manipulation.

5) Finally, if you want to develop an assertive communication (see here how), you must be able to say no.
    • When I say "no", I'm in the "ok" position
  •  (1)

II) Saying "no" is so hard 
We all have to do things we don't want to do; that is just part of life. But so many people agree to do things they do not even have to do. And sometimes these things are big; I see people accepting promotions or jobs they don't want, marrying people they feel unsure about, and having children before they're ready. The truth is, for many of us, saying "no" is hard! We want others to like us and accept us; we want to show up for them, meet their expectations, and please them.
I know it's very hard to think about letting someone you care about down or falling short of someone’s expectation of you. Sometimes saying "no" can even be heartbreaking to someone else. But so is saying "yes" when you don’t really mean it (2)

III) How to say (No)
Here is good news for men and women who suffer from not knowing how to say no.

* Plan Out Your No’s Ahead of Time:
It can be difficult to tell someone no in the moment. If you you struggle to say no because you fear facing people’s disappointment,  ask people to text or email you their request so you can get back to them. You’re a busy person so it’s perfectly reasonable for you to say that you need to check your schedule before answering. Once they send you a follow-up, it is much easier to send them a polite reply saying that you’re unable to agree to their request.(3)

*How to say no using the fog technique:
This technique is very effective especially against manipulators and other toxic people.
What is it about ?
It is a question here of not answering or rather of avoiding answering in a precise way to your interlocutor. You do not answer yes or no, but you remain very vague.
Some words are precious to stay out of hand: "maybe", "it's possible", "probably", "certainly", "I do not doubt it"(4)

*Don’t Offer an Explanation:
Offering an excuse may seem like the polite way to decline a request but it sets you up for an awkward situation. The problem with offering an excuse is it gives people the opportunity to change their request so that your excuse doesn’t justify your no.

*Take time before answering:
I once had a supervisor who never said yes to any request without first saying, "Let me think about it." Even if the idea was a no-brainer and I knew she would approve it, she habitually bought herself some time to think things through. I thought it was brilliant. There are very few requests, invitations, or propositions that need to be answered right away. As somebody who's had to learn that it's OK to say "no," I still notice my initial reaction to almost any request of me is a cheerful "sure!" I've had to learn to take some time to think about what is being asked of me before I answer.(5)



And finally, learning to say "no" when you authentically mean "no" is a life skill. For some people, it comes quite naturally. For others, it requires habitual practice and conscious use. It may not feel right at first, but it's necessary for living life truthfully and a skill that will promote good overall emotional health.


References
  1. http://www.se-sentir-capable.com/savoir-dire-non-3-techniques/)
  2. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/why-saying-no-is-necessary-for-good-health
  3. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-say-no/
  4. http://www.se-sentir-capable.com/savoir-dire-non-3-techniques/
  5. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/why-saying-no-is-necessary-for-good-health